92 Days: A Weeping Prince

                I have been writing my whole life, it is my only outlet to escape my problems. It is where I can shout all the pains, angers and agonies that have been given in my life. I created this perfect world for me, where I can go to whenever I can’t handle my life anymore and this world consists of my writings…

                But now, for the very first time in my life, I don’t know what to say… Only continuous flow of aching tears from my heart can be seen… With the disbelief that now, you are truly gone…

                I’m very thankful that you came back… When you opened the door, I instantly knew that it was you, for you have the only keys to my locked heart… I was unexplainably happy again, knowing that I can continue our dreams that we have created for us… But why leave me again? Why did you still came back when all the while you knew that it wasn’t going to be a happy ending just like I’ve prayed it would be… I fought for you up to the very end, I never gave up on us and I gave it my all… I know I’m not the perfect and ideal guy, I have numerous of mistakes and failures in my life but I have the heart… The heart that has been patiently understanding, faithfully valuing and truly loving you for just who you are… The Heart that has given you the unconditional love that you have always needed… Do you know the feeling of being sentenced as guilty when the truth is you really didn’t do anything at all? That you were sent into prison because you were being misjudged? That is what I’m feeling right now. But I still ask? Why do you have to listen to them? Why haven’t you fought for me? What have I done to them for me to be judged so quickly without giving me the chance to let my true self be known to them? Have you already forgotten all our intimate committed vows that we made infront of each other where our witness was God? Deep inside of you, you know that you were the only one left in my Life… You know that I have nothing else left but only You… You were my only family, my savior, my wife, my bestfriend, my partner and my Princess… And now, with you permanently gone, I feel so lost, hopeless, miserable and alone… And I don’t know how to pick up myself again…

                All of our dreams have vanished, the “60 anniversaries we’ll spend together”, the “Travels that we planned for each other”, the “Surprises that I will do to show you that I will still court you even if we are already old, wrinkled and have our own grandchildren”. All of it has been gone… I can’t help but to cry at my worst while continuing to finish this… And the most painful thing to know? Is that you can still pursue living your life while I can’t continue with mine any longer… I will never forget your final words to me which are “Bye for the last time..”. I know that I will never ever recover from this pain because I have lost the only woman I have greatly loved with my whole being… :_(_____________________________

- Poetic Prince